Welcome to "Growing Up Grieving!" I’m Cait Medugno, and in this introductory episode, I share my personal journey through grief and chronic illness. I've faced the loss of my parents and a lifelong struggle with survivor's guilt from all of the illness around me. This podcast is a safe space for sharing diverse experiences of grief.

I talk about my lifelong battle with grief, from my mother's ailments (including 2 kidney transplants, open heart surgery and years on dialysis) to my father's recent death from esophageal cancer. Grief has deeply shaped my life, leading me to spirituality as a coping mechanism. I highlight the importance of honest conversations about grief and plan to interview various guests, including family members and grief counselors, to explore how they cope with loss.

In this episode, my sister Rachel shares her experiences with Kawasaki disease and type 1 diabetes as a child. She talks about the challenges of self-care and our family's collective resilience during crises. Her account of our mother's numerous health issues and our family's support system underscores our unity in the face of adversity.

I reflect on my initial reluctance to confront illness and death, often resorting to avoidance and distraction. I discuss the therapeutic value of openly discussing my emotions, even though hospitals and funerals remain significant triggers for my anxiety.

I also share my adult life milestones, including marriage and motherhood, and the difficulties of raising children without my mother's presence. Her death prompted me to focus on self-improvement and personal growth. I acknowledge my artistic talents but realize that art is more personal and less of a career path for me.

This episode aims to explain my background, fears, and the purpose of "Growing Up Grieving." I hope the podcast will foster respect for different grief experiences and promote evolving perspectives on grieving.

Welcome back to "Growing Up Grieving" with your friend in grief, Cait Medugno.

I am honored by the overwhelming support and engagement from the first episode. Your comments, messages, and shares mean the world to me and truly affirm why I started this podcast. My goal is to connect with you on a deeply personal level, sharing my journey and inviting you into a space where we can navigate grief together.

In today’s episode, I am thrilled to introduce you to my sister Meg. Our conversation ran so deep that I had to split it into two parts! In part one, Meg recounts a pivotal moment from her childhood when she made a promise during a crisis at just nine years old. We also delve into the first deaths we experienced and Meg’s ongoing health challenges, highlighting her strength and resilience in the face of debilitating symptoms without a diagnosis.

Continuing the theme of chronic illness, I share a significant update concerning my sister Rachel's family. This news has profoundly affected our family and friends, reminding us of life’s fragility.

As we explore what "normal" means in a family constantly confronted with illness, Meg and I reflect on how chronic illness and grief reshape our perceptions and lives. We discuss how these experiences have become our normal, shaping our resilience and determination to keep moving forward despite the challenges. Stay tuned for part two, where Meg and I will discuss the night our mom passed away and the recent loss of our dad. It’s an emotional conversation you won't want to miss.

In this heartfelt episode, Meg and I revisit the night our mom passed away. We talk about the moments leading up to her death, including the pacemaker surgery that was supposed to give us more time but ultimately didn’t. We share our memories of that night—the overwhelming emotions, the difficult decision to tell her it was okay to go, and the surreal experience of telling our dad that he had done all he could for her. We also confront the guilt that lingers, especially for me, as I was out on a boat and didn’t get to say goodbye the way I had hoped...

How do we reconcile that with everything else?

In this episode, Meg and I reflect on the last seven years of our dad’s life after our mom passed away. Stepping into a new role, he challenged himself to show up for our family like never before, embodying the strength and care our mom had always provided. We discuss how he reconnected with us and our children, becoming a more present and loving father, grandfather, and uncle.
With our grief still fresh after just eight months without him, we also talk about his health struggles, including a stroke in 2019, bladder cancer, and the “absolutely curable” esophageal cancer that ultimately took his life.

We believe he chose to go on his own terms…

Trigger Warning: Death by suicide and substance abuse are mentioned in this episode.

National Suicide Prevention (USA): Dial 988

Maternal Mental Health hotline (USA): 1-833-TLC-MAMA

In this episode I speak with Heather Martin, RMA and Maternal Mental Health advocate from New Hampshire who has dedicated her career to helping support moms in need of critical mental health resources. Fifteen years ago, Heather experienced the devastating loss of her sister, who died by suicide when she was three weeks postpartum. She opens up about her journey through grief, her advocacy for maternal mental health, and her vision to create a center where mothers in need can go to and easily access the support they need.